The sad, hard truth
and what you can do about it
It’s often said that your subconscious controls 99% of your life. And if you’ve ever felt stuck in a cycle of habits, emotions, or thoughts you can’t seem to break free from—despite your best efforts—you’ve probably felt the truth in that statement.
The subconscious is incredibly powerful. It runs your day-to-day life, driving most of your actions, reactions, and decisions without you even realizing it. This is why affirmations and positive thinking, on their own, often fall short. You can say all the right things—"I am enough," "I am happy," "I am successful"—but if your subconscious doesn’t believe them, it’s like throwing seeds onto rocky ground. Nothing takes root. The affirmations float around in your conscious mind, but they don't sink deep enough to create real change.
And there’s one subconscious belief that can keep you locked in cycles of depression, anxiety, or self-sabotage no matter how hard you try to break free: the belief that you deserve to feel this way.
When your subconscious mind believes that you deserve to be depressed, anxious, or stuck, it clings to that belief as if it were fact. You start to internalize it as a truth, often without realizing it. The subconscious will dig up evidence to support this belief: past mistakes, moments of failure, guilt, shame—all the reasons why you should stay trapped in this emotional pit.
This is the problem with many traditional therapies. They often focus on changing conscious thoughts and behaviors, which is important but doesn’t go deep enough. While these methods may eventually work, it can take a long time—years in some cases—to undo deeply ingrained subconscious patterns.
But here’s the truth: Your brain can change. And it can change far faster than you’ve been led to believe.
The Power of Neuroplasticity and Subconscious Change
Neuroplasticity is the brain's ability to change, adapt, and reorganize itself over time. It’s how new habits are formed, how old beliefs can be rewired, and how healthier thought patterns can take root.
The key is engaging both the conscious and subconscious minds in this process. While traditional therapies target the conscious mind, the methods we’ve discussed in this newsletter aim to rewire both the subconscious and the neural pathways that drive your everyday life.
Instead of just thinking positive or repeating affirmations, our approach combines science-backed strategies that go deeper, including:
Awareness and Reflection: By identifying your fixed and growth mindsets, you become aware of limiting beliefs hiding in your subconscious. This awareness is key to beginning the rewiring process. Simply catching yourself in those limiting thoughts can start to break the cycle.
Growth Mindset and Neuroplasticity: Through intentional effort and feedback, you retrain your brain. Each time you reflect on a mistake, embrace failure, and reframe it as an opportunity for growth, you're literally carving out new pathways in your brain—healthy neuropathways that push you forward instead of holding you back.
Practical Exercises and Daily Habits: Activities like the Two-Minute Writing and Dinner Table Conversations help strengthen the neural connections that foster growth and flexibility. These aren't just fluffy personal development tasks; they're intentional actions designed to spark real neuroplastic changes. Writing and reflecting force your brain to process information in a way that solidifies new learning. Asking deeper questions primes the mind to think beyond surface-level patterns, opening the door for subconscious shifts.
Rewiring with "Not Yet": The "Not Yet" exercise may seem simple, but it is profound. By adding “not yet” to any fixed mindset thought, you introduce the idea of possibility. Over time, this repeated practice convinces the subconscious that change is possible—rewiring old pathways and creating new ones. You're not stuck. You just haven't arrived… yet.
EXERCISE
Rewire Your Subconscious in 5 Steps
Step 1: Identify a Limiting Belief
Close your eyes and think about an area in your life where you feel stuck. This could be your career, relationships, health, or any personal goal.
Write down one limiting belief you’ve been holding onto. For example, "I’m not good enough to succeed in this job" or "I’ll never be in a happy relationship."
Step 2: Reframe with “Not Yet”
Now, take that limiting belief and add "not yet" to the end of the sentence. For example, "I’m not good enough to succeed in this job… yet."
Say it out loud. How does that feel? Even a small shift like this can begin to open your mind to new possibilities.
Step 3: Reflect on Past Growth
Think of a time when you did overcome a challenge or learn something new. What did that process look like?
Write a brief reflection on how effort and learning got you to where you are now, and how it can do the same for this new challenge.
Step 4: Create an Action Plan
Identify one small step you can take to work towards overcoming this limiting belief.
Write down a simple action you’ll take this week to start building new neural pathways. For example, if your belief is about career success, your action could be reaching out to a mentor for advice or learning a new skill.
Step 5: Seek Feedback
Growth happens when we receive feedback. Reach out to someone you trust—a friend, family member, or coach—and ask for their perspective on this belief and your action plan.
Write down their feedback and reflect on how it can help you grow.
How This Rewires the Brain for Lasting Change
Think of your brain like a network of roads. The paths you travel most often—negative thoughts, limiting beliefs, or feelings of unworthiness—become well-worn highways. They’re automatic, easy to access, and hard to avoid. The methods above are like construction crews that come in and start building new, more positive routes.
At first, these new paths might feel unfamiliar. Your brain might try to revert to the old highways. But with consistent practice and a focus on growth mindset, these new pathways become smoother and more familiar. Eventually, the old roads fall into disuse, and the new, healthier ways of thinking take their place.
The best part? These new paths are built on a foundation of self-compassion and belief in your ability to grow. You’re not just saying affirmations mindlessly; you’re doing the work to make sure your subconscious believes them too. This is how you break free from the subconscious traps that have held you back.
Creating New Healthy Neuropathways
With methods like these, you aren’t just managing your thoughts—you’re transforming them. Your subconscious mind, once stuck in fixed patterns of self-doubt or negativity, can be reshaped into a tool for growth, resilience, and success.
By engaging with your brain’s natural neuroplasticity, you can move beyond old, limiting beliefs and create new, healthy neuropathways. This change isn’t just theoretical. It's tangible, measurable, and grounded in the very science that proves your brain is capable of adapting for life.
So, if you’ve been trying to change but feel like something is still holding you back—know that it’s not because you’re broken. It’s because the process of change requires a method that works with your subconscious and engages your brain’s natural ability to transform. With the right strategies, real change is not only possible—it’s inevitable.
If you would like to learn more about the NeuroChange Method, and have me as your mentor, reply and we can chat.
In harmonious mental health,
Becky Gosky, NeuroChange Master Trainer and Founder of Neuro Shift