I once heard someone call deliberate practice “the broccoli of skill-building.”
It’s a little hard to digest at times, especially compared to that delicious ice cream sundae called “flow.”
One feels like forced labor, the other feels like surfing on a blissful wave. So, why do we need both to become true experts? Let’s explore.
A tale of two paths: deliberate practice vs. flow
Think of deliberate practice as grinding away on a problem. You’re up to your neck in details, wrestling with where things go wrong, and facing every uncomfortable flaw in your technique.
It’s slow, clunky, and, if we’re honest, a little soul-crushing. The point is not fun; it’s focused improvement. Every misstep, every frustration, every slow-motion error is building stronger pathways in your brain.
According to Daniel Coyle in The Talent Code, this is where real progress happens because it forces you to operate at the very edge of your ability.
On the flip side, flow is what psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi famously described as an “optimal experience.” You’re fully engaged, and time either vanishes or stretches out indefinitely.
In flow, you’re not bogged down by mistakes because the level of challenge perfectly matches your skill.
Here, everything feels smooth and almost magical.
Here’s the paradox: the path to experiencing more of those magical flow moments often requires trudging through the muck of deliberate practice first. (sigh…)
Why does deliberate practice feel so bad?
Deliberate practice forces us to dig into our weak spots.
It’s kind of like being on a date where you have to admit all your worst habits upfront.
Imagine going through every minor mistake, then correcting and repeating it over and over.
Not exactly a recipe for instant joy, right?
But deliberate practice has a purpose: it rewires our brain at the synaptic level, reinforcing those specific skills we’re working on. Repeated, uncomfortable attempts at fixing mistakes lead to myelination—essentially wrapping a layer of “insulation” around our neural circuits so they can fire faster and more accurately.
That mental friction is where growth happens, but it’s not where you feel like a master. You feel like a beginner, stumbling over the same parts repeatedly, which is why it can be so draining.
Experts who practice deliberately spend a lot of time feeling like they’re getting it wrong, but they’re willing to endure that discomfort to build their skills.
Flow: the reward for all that effort
Flow, however, is the payoff.
It’s like taking that well-practiced skill out for a spin, where all the corrections from deliberate practice kick in without conscious thought.
In flow, the brain is no longer concerned with fixing mistakes but with enjoying the “right” level of challenge.
When you’re in flow, your brain’s reward system lights up with dopamine, telling you, “Yes, you’re nailing this!”
Flow is not only satisfying but also reinforcing. It confirms that all those uncomfortable practice hours are paying off.
In fact, Angela Duckworth, in her book Grit, found that experts experience both more deliberate practice and more flow.
They understand that deliberate practice is the work they put in for the bliss of flow down the line.
When practice meets purpose: using flow and deliberate practice in your own life
So, how can we start applying these two concepts together? Here are a few ideas that might help you find both your “broccoli” (deliberate practice) and your “dessert” (flow) in whatever skill you’re working on.
Embrace the frustration
If you’re just starting with deliberate practice, it’s okay to feel like you’re struggling—because you are. Pick a skill, then break it down to specific parts. For example, if you’re learning to play the piano, slow down a tricky passage and work only on that, even if it’s maddening. The feeling of “not quite getting it” is exactly where growth happens.Plan for flow moments
If you’re an athlete, artist, or writer, carve out time to perform just for fun. This can be a game day, a performance, or a freewriting session where you don’t worry about mistakes. Use these times to enjoy the progress you’ve made without getting bogged down in corrections. Allow yourself to enter that state of flow where everything just clicks.Use purpose as your fuel
Connecting to your purpose can make the journey from clunky practice to seamless flow meaningful. Think about what draws you to your craft. For me, it’s that little voice that says, “What could I create if I keep getting better?” When you remind yourself why you’re on this path, the process becomes easier to enjoy, even when you’re in the tough parts.Mini flow breaks
If deliberate practice feels too grueling, try mini flow breaks. Spend a few minutes doing something you already feel competent at, even if it’s a smaller piece of the skill. A violinist, for example, might play a favorite piece between those grueling repetitions of a tough passage. This helps keep you motivated.
A quick experiment for your brain
To understand how both deliberate practice and flow work in real time, try this experiment:
Choose a skill you’re learning.
Spend five minutes deliberately practicing a difficult part of it. Focus on where you make mistakes, slow down, and repeat it with corrections.
Now, switch gears. Spend five minutes practicing something you feel more confident about in the same skill. Try to immerse yourself in the ease of it. See if you can reach a state of flow.
Notice the difference in how your mind feels after each type of practice?
We need both deliberate practice and flow for true expertise. Think of them as two parts of a whole: the preparation that makes us better and the performance that makes us feel alive.
The ultimate reward?
To practice deliberately enough that flow becomes a regular experience, so we can enjoy the ride more and more as we grow.
By combining both, you’re not only building your skills but also nurturing a love for what you do.
Becky Gosky, Neuro Shift